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The Butt-Poking Story

July 27, 2010 4:12 pm · Posted by Joslyn Hamilton
This is Francesca. Doesn't she look like a troublemaker?

My friend Francesca and I are like 5-year-olds whenever we are together. We love to make each other laugh by behaving mischievously.

Many months ago, when she was visiting me from Italy, something really embarrassing happened. There is no moral to this story, but nevertheless, it is too good not to share it.

On a Saturday morning, Francesca and I went to a very crowded yoga class with a very popular teacher. Before class began, I saw my good friend Tim. Tim introduced me to his friend Denise, who had just moved to San Francisco from Texas. We exchanged pleasantries, set our mats up next to each other, and then I was back on my mat warming up before class was to begin.

I went into Downward Facing Dog, to wake and loosen up my stiff morning body.   Without warning, Francesca poked me right in my butt! And I don't mean ON my butt... I mean IN my butt! I was quite horrified, and scolded her. "Francesca! Are you crazy? There are like a hundred people in here! I can't believe you just did that!"   Francesca let out her classic hearty laugh as I rolled my eyes in contempt.

Class started. Most of my friends know that I have a bladder the size of a pea, and I often have to go to the bathroom sometime during class. I got up, went to the bathroom, and came back into the yoga room. As I was walking toward my mat, I decided I just had to get back at Francesca. I decided I would poke her in the butt! (Side note: this is something that I had NEVER done before... not my usual behavior! I swear!)

I poked her in the butt.

She turned around in horror. OMG!!!!!! I poked my finger in the wrong girl's butt!!!!!! It's Denise!!!!!!! (In my defense, both Denise and Francesca were wearing black Lululemon pants. On the other hand, so was every other girl in class. She whipped around, and her jaw dropped.) Poor Denise, who had just moved to San Francisco from Texas. I could only imagine what she now thought of us crazy San Franciscans. I'm sure she thought I was a crazy pervert!

I apologized profusely: "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.... I thought you were someone else!" She didn't say a word, but I created such a commotion that the teacher came over and said, "Is everyone alright?" I said, "No, everything is NOT alright!"

Luckily for me, after she got over her initial shock, Denise was actually really nice and understanding. We are now friends on Facebook.

Sorry again, Denise. I learned my lesson on the butt-poking!


posted by

Funny. That's a quick way to get the heart rate raised. I was training a client and it was the last set of the ab workout and he was doing the Plank and he was at 2:30 in time and then his girlfriend came in a poked him in his butt not just the cheek I mean in the crack! Needless to say he went down quick!

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About Yoga Off The Mat

I teach yoga in the Bay Area. My friend Joslyn Hamilton, after many years in the yoga world, is embracing her true inner “word yogi”. Together, we bring you Yoga Off the Mat… our new blog about living yoga outside of the classroom. -- Tom Lee